


Mary, did you know?

by StillWinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coda, Episode: s14e17 Game Night, Gen, M/M, Talking, kitchen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:28:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29821494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StillWinchester/pseuds/StillWinchester
Summary: Castiel talks with Mary one night. She knows more than he thinks.
Relationships: Castiel & Mary Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 17





	Mary, did you know?

**Author's Note:**

> Unpopular opinion: I like Mary. She wasn't perfect, but her deaths was sad. This story has place somewhere in season 14.

**Mary, did you know?**

It's a middle of the night, Mary wakes up and walks to the kitchen to drink some water. The lights are already on because Castiel sits at the table and contemplates in silence.

“You can't sleep?” he asks immediately, when Mary stands in the door frame. His voice is deep like always, but also calmly and full of concern.

“Just like you,” she says and goes to the sink. She takes a glass and pours a water, after that drinks a little.

“I'm an angel, I don't sleep,” he explains, watching how Mary sits against him.

“Oh, yes, I'm still a little confused... So, what are you doing at nights to pass the time?” Mary asks, she's really interested about that. The angel must spend lots of nights lonely. It is a little depressed.

“The stuff. Reading, walking around, but mostly thinking.”

“Thinking? About what?”

“About people, bad decisions, the biggest regrets...” he says, gasping. These aren't nice thoughts, but in the dark night they just comes to his mind. Mostly, he's trying to think about more pleasant things like his family. He thinks about Sam, Jack, Mary, and of course, about Dean. He appreciates every moment which he spends with him. Sometimes he just has Dean's image in his head. Green eyes, freckles, honest smiles when they're watching some movie...

“Sounds fun,” says Mary, and Cas blinks twice. He forgot about her presence for a while.

“Yeah...”

“So, what is your biggest regrets?” she asks, taking another sip. Castiel realizes that she doesn't talk with Mary often. He should to start this, and maybe this conversation is a good first step.

“I made lots of mistakes, and sometimes I still make it. I've devastated Heaven, killed lots of beings. I didn't know what was good and bad. But when I met Dean... and Sam, I understood that there are things worth dying for.”

“Like what?”

“People, world and... family. I even died a few times for this,” he explains.

“But you're still here.”

“So do you.”

They both are people, or maybe a human and angel, who doesn't fit well to this world. But they're trying and keep fighting all the time.

“Yes, I am. But sometimes, I think I don't belong here. I shouldn't be on Earth after so many years. It's crazy that my sons are older than me...”

“You're a good mother, Mary. And they are really happy to have you back,” he says honestly. Mary lights up their hearts, and having her here is like a dream for the Winchesters.

“I'm not sure about that. I made a few shitty decisions either,” she admits.

“But you faced the consequences of your acts. You know, I was a warrior once. A soldier, who followed orders without any hesitation. I didn't make my own decisions, and I didn't think about consequences. But when I saved Dean from hell...”

“You did what?” interrupts him Mary. She didn't know about that part of their history.

“Oh, he didn't tell you how we met? I gripped him tight and raised him from perdition.”

Cas thinks it is his best line. But he has some simply phrase in his head, only three words, which is even better and more beautiful. Reserved for Dean. He even said it two years ago when he almost died, but then he added quickly “I love all of you”.

“It sounds poetic.”

“Because it was. It wasn't just pulling him out from hell, it was some... magnificent. Touching and rebuilding his soul, the brightest soul I've ever seen, the soul of the Righteous Man, I...” he stops, seeing Mary's smile. He doesn't want to say too much.

“When he was a kid, I told him that angels were watching over him. I'm glad he has you, Castiel,” she says. And she really means it.

“I'm glad I have him.”

Mary finishes her water, but she doesn't go to bed yet. She's wondering about something, and finally, she speaks:

“Cas, I need to ask you something. Who is Dean for you? I mean for real.”

“He's my best friend,” he answers slowly, tilting his head a little and frowning.

“No, I wasn't asking about that. I mean... I raised at the times when it was taboo, but now everything is changing. And when I saw you for the first time, I was a little confused because I didn't understand that. But I think I know now... The way you look at him and how you care about him. How you care about the whole family... It doesn't look like best friends. Is it something more?” she clarifies her question.

“I can't speak for Dean...”

Cas wants to avoid this subject. It's not good to reveals all of his secrets. And especially that one, which is hidden deep in his heart.

“So speak just for yourself,” Mary encourages him.

“I... He changed me, he showed me, and he's still showing me that the world is worth a lot, that we need to fight for this, that we have free will...”

He still doesn't answer, and Mary just gasps with an irritation. Talking with the angels is so hard sometimes.

“Cas, you can tell me. I'm not judging, and I won't tell him anything,” she promises.

“I love him... I'm in love with him.”

Cas is surprised that it was so easy. Saying this. His heart is a lot of lighter now.

“I think you should to tell him.”

“I can't... But maybe one day...”

Mary takes his hand in her own and squeezes it, smiling a little: “Good night, Castiel.”

“Good night, Mary.”

She walks away to her room, and Cas is still sitting alone in the kitchen, thinking about their conversation. Maybe, she's right? Maybe, he should to tell him?

He smiles to himself, it's a good thing. Loving Dean is a wonderful feeling, and the thought that one day he could say to him, the perfect man alive, that he, the fallen angel, fell in love with him is even better because Dean deserves to be loved.

Maybe, he'll tell him tomorrow? Yeah, maybe tomorrow…

But he won't. Because on the next day, Mary Winchester is dead. And Castiel is dead too. Dead in Dean's eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/stillwinchester)!


End file.
